


Rainbow Rocket Group Chat

by shitai



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, cyrus is a virgin, ghetsis has no idea what is going on, guzma roasts everyone, lusamine is a sweet girl, lysandre just wants his mans, somewhat of an au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 00:40:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17273846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitai/pseuds/shitai
Summary: Giovanni thinks it is in Rainbow Rocket's best interests to communicate often and starts a group chat. It doesn't go as well as he hoped.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fully aware guzma and lusamine aren't in rainbow rocket but I couldn't just ignore them like that

_Giovanni added Oceanman, Expandtheland, cyrusgalactic, Ghetsis Harmonia, pyroarcosplayer, YABOI, aetherprincess_

Giovanni: Why do you all have such strange names?

YABOI: why is your name so boring???

aetherprincess: Yeah Gio change your name

Expandtheland: Can we change it for him?

 

_Giovanni set himself as admin_

 

YABOI: fuckkkkk

Giovanni: Lysandre, I didn’t expect you to have a strange name either

pyroarcosplayer: Augustine wanted me to change it

cyrusgalactic: and you did??

pyroarcosplayer: yes

YABOI: lol ur whipped

cyrusgalactic: weak

aetherprincess: shush, it’s cute

YABOI: w h i p p e d

Expandtheland: she's not wrong

pyroarcosplayer: You two are so saccharine that it’s almost sickly

Oceanman: Leave him alone

Oceanman: just because i’m soft with him doesn’t mean i won’t deck you

YABOI: fight fight fight

Giovanni: Please try to keep your personal problems out of the chat

Giovanni: And Guzma, please don’t encourage them

YABOI: ur so boring

YABOI: o l d m a n

Giovanni: I’m not that old

cyrusgalactic: Who is the oldest?

Expandtheland: Isn’t Ghetsis like 200 years old

cyrusgalactic: Speaking of, where is Ghetsis?

aetherprincess: Poor guy probably can’t use his phone

Expandtheland: Good

Giovanni: Don’t be rude to him

aetherprincess: he's not that bad!

pyroarcosplayer: Please give me one good reason to like Ghetsis

pyroarcosplayer: I’m waiting

 

_Giovanni has left the chat_

_Aetherprincess has left the chat_

 

YABOI: HA

YABOI: we don’t have an admin now

 

_YABOI has changed cyrusgalactic’s name to spaceman_

_YABOI has changed Giovanni’s name to old man_

_YABOI has changed Ghetsis Harmonia’s name to oldest man_

 

Expandtheland: Guzma please don’t

pyroarcosplayer: Does this mean we can add people now?

 

pyroarcosplayer _has added Augustine🌳🌳🌳_

 

spaceman: Why is he here? He’s not a team leader.

pyroarcosplayer: If Maxie can have his boyfriend I can have mine

Oceanman: Yeah but the difference is I’m an actual team leader

YABOI: we don’t accept nerds in the group chat

Augustine🌳🌳🌳: Why is Maxie here then

Expandtheland: Listen here-

Oceanman: we’re keeping him

Expandtheland: you’re supposed to defend me!

 

_spaceman has made himself admin_

_spaceman has removed Oceanman, Expandtheland and Augustine🌳🌳🌳_

_spaceman has added old man and aetherprincess_

 

spaceman: finally, some peace

 

_YABOI has added Oceanman and Expandtheland_

 

spaceman: I tried

Old man: Cyrus, please change my name back

 

_Spaceman has changed old man’s name to Giovanni_

_Spaceman has changed their name to Cyrus_

 

YABOI: boring

YABOI: speaking of boring

YABOI: where did everyone else go??

aetherprincess: Knowing them, they’re probably being romantic

YABOI: oh you mean they’re fucking?

 

_Spaceman has left the chat_

 

YABOI: virgin

Giovanni: Don’t be rude

Aetherprincess: Yeah, Guz. Be nice

YABOI: I’d call you virgins too but you’ve got kids

Giovanni: I appreciate the sentiment.

Aetherprincess: If anything, you're the virgin

 

_YABOI has left the chat_

 

Giovanni: he deserved it

 

_Giovanni has left the chat_

_Aetherprincess has left the chat_

_\----------_

 

Oldest man: what

Oldest man: how do I work this

Oldest man: where is everyone


	2. Ghet fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghetsis finally manages to join the chat, and Guzma makes everyone leave again

Oceanman: So uh

Oceanman: You ok there ghet?

oldest man: what happened to my name?

Oceanman: Guzma changed it

oldest man: how do I change it back?

Oceanman: Cyrus needs to do it

Oceanman: But I think he’s offline right now

Oceanman: Not many people are up as late as you

oldest man: you are! Why can’t you do it?

Oceanman: I’m not the admin

oldest man: None of us are admins! We’re the leaders

Oceanman: No Ghet.

Oceanman: The admin of the chat

 

_aetherprincess joined the chat_

 

Aetherprincess: What are you still doing up?

oldest man: I don’t sleep

Oceanman: I couldn’t sleep

Oceanman: Why are you up?

Aetherprincess: Uh… alright, ghetsis

Aetherprincess: But I couldn’t sleep either.

Aetherprincess: I stayed up working in the paradise and now I have too much energy

Oldest man: what do you actually do in the paradise?

Aetherprincess: I help preserve and look after the prettiest pokemon that are suffering! I want to make sure their beauty never fades!

Oldest man: you and lysandre would get along

Oceanman: I second that

Oceanman: you’re pretty big on the whole beauty thing

Aetherprincess: Well, he has a good idea....

Oldest man: please do not work together

Aetherprincess: We should work together!

Oldest man: how do i leave the chat

Oceanman: go into settings and then click leave

 

_Oceanman left the chat_

Oldest _man left the chat_

 

Aetherprincess: guys :(

 

_Aetherprincess has left the chat_

\-----

_pyroarcosplayer has joined the chat_

pyroarcosplayer: Lusamine, as much as I would enjoy working with you, I think our ideas are too opposite to properly work together.

 

_Expandtheland has joined the chat_

 

Expandtheland: I feel the same when everyone suggests Archie and I should work together. Our ideas are polar opposites.

pyroarcosplayer: It’s because you two are dating. As much as I would like to work with Augustine, it would be rather… distrayant. Je ne sais pas si je pourrais me concentrer.

Expandtheland: In English, please, Lysandre.

pyroarcosplayer: become cultured and then you can understand

Expandtheland: You’re an ass…

pyroarcosplayer: Tu n'as pas de cul

Expandtheland: Fuck you

 

_Giovanni has joined the chat_

 

Giovanni: I second that, Lysandre. Please don’t speak French

pyroarcosplayer: No one tells you off for speaking Italian!

Giovanni: That’s because my language isn’t pretentious

Pyroarcosplayer: French is the language of love!

Giovanni: It makes you sound like a prat

Expandtheland: Is that why you can’t get any, Gio?

Giovanni: Sei su ghiaccio sottile Maximilian

Expandtheland: This message can’t stop me because I can’t read it

Pyroarcosplayer: Your name is Maximilian?

Expandtheland: ...

Expandtheland: yeah

 

_YABOI has joined the chat_

 

Expandtheland: Archie’s name is Archibald which is frankly just as worse

YABOI: oh my god you two have the dorkiest names i’ve ever heard

YABOI: if we were in school I’d give you a swirly

Expandtheland: Which is why I’m very glad that I’m older than you

Giovanni: Why did I even invite you here?

YABOI: because i’m a team leader

YABOI: it’s ur obligation

Giovanni: You’re not in rainbow rocket!

YABOI: what are you gonna do about it old man??

Giovanni: Just wait until Cyrus gets on and I can get him to kick you

Expandtheland: What makes you think Cyrus will agree?

Giovanni: I have my ways

YABOI: u gonna torture him or smth???

Giovanni: No

Pyroarcosplay: Cyrus has… a soft spot for you, doesn’t he?

Giovanni: You could say that, yes

YABOI: y’all fuckin?

Giovanni: No! Our relationship is strictly professional

 

_Cyrus has joined the chat_

 

YABOI: CYRUS

YABOI: ARE YOU GAY FOR GIO????

Cyrus: What do you mean?

Expandtheland: Cyrus, just ignore him

Pyroarcosplay: Please kick him

 

_Cyrus has removed YABOI from the chat_

 

Cyrus: He’s far too annoying.

 

_Aetherprincess has joined the chat_

 

Aetherprincess: He’s not that bad…

Aetherprincess: He’s a lot nicer than all of you

Expandtheland: Easy for you to say

 

_Expandtheland has left the chat_

Oldest _man has joined the chat_

 

Oldest man: Cyrus! Please change my name

Cyrus: I’m not here to bow to all your whims

 

 _Cyrus has changed_ Oldest _man’s name to ghet fucked_

 

Ghet fucked: Cyrus!

 

_Ghet fucked has left the chat_

 

Giovanni: Well...he never stays for long, does he?

Pyroarcosplayer: As I said earlier, good


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giovanni and Cyrus have a chat, and Lusamine campaigns for women's rights

Aetherprincess: there is far too much testosterone in this chat

Cyrus: What do you mean by that?

Aetherprincess: I’m the only girl here! I feel… marooned!

Cyrus: You shouldn’t even be in this chat. You’re not a team leader

Aetherprincess: I’m the founder of Aether Foundation! This counts!

Cyrus: Not really.

Aetherprincess: you're all misogynistic

Aetherprincess: do you know nothing about women's rights?

 

_Ghet fucked has joined the chat_

 

Cyrus: Ghetsis, what is your opinion on Lusamine being in this chat?

Ghet fucked: I don’t really care about her

Aetherprincess: Wow, sexist

Cyrus: I suppose he has a point. None of us really have many close ties to each other

Aetherprincess: Apart from Archie and Maxie! They’re so cute together…

Ghet fucked: It is terribly unprofessional of them if they’re going to work in a team together

Cyrus: I don’t see why they can’t

Ghet fucked: at first I thought your apathy would be useful but it turns out that you just can’t make decisions for yourself

 

_Ghet fucked has been removed from the chat_

 

Aetherprincess: Cy, you ok?

Cyrus: Why do you ask?

Aetherprincess: Just wondering, is all. You seem so cold

Cyrus: You’re so accustomed to dealing with emotion

Cyrus: It’s better without

Aetherprincess: If you say so…

Aetherprincess: Also? please let Wicke join I'm lonely

 

_Aetherprincess has left the chat_

_Cyrus has relinquished admin status_

 

\-----

 

PRIVATE MESSAGE : Giovanni

 

Cyrus: Giovanni?

Cyrus: Can I ask you something?

Giovanni: What is it?

Cyrus: You shouldn’t have gone so far to get me out of the distortion world

Giovanni: That’s not a question, Cy

Cyrus: Why do you call me that?

Giovanni: Oh, Cy?

Giovanni: It’s a nickname. Easier to type than Cyrus.

Cyrus: You don’t do it to the others. Are you attracted to me somehow?

Giovanni: I’m just being friendly to you, geez

Giovanni: I’ll stop if you want

Cyrus: You’re showing unnecessary emotion to someone who has no desire to receive it

Giovanni: Whatever suits you, I guess…

 

_Giovanni has gone offline_

 

\-----

  


YABOI: Lusamine it’s not your fault you’re the only girl who’s done some evil shit

Aetherprincess: my point is, why can’t I invite some of the admins in? I’m sure they would appreciate this too

YABOI: group leaders only

YABOI: this is an EXCLUSIVE CLUB

Aetherprincess: We’re not even supposed to be in this club!

YABOI: you may be correct but

YABOI: cyrus said he didn’t care and he’s the admin so I’m gonna listen to him

 

_Oceanman has joined the chat_

 

Oceanman: Bold of you to assume Cyrus makes good decisions

Oceanman: Also, since when have you been a suck up?

Oceanman: I thought your whole thing was not listening to others

YABOI: you’re wrong

Oceanman: How?

YABOI: …

YABOI: give me a minute

 

_YABOI has changed Oceanman’s name to I sucked maxie’s dick so he wouldn’t destroy the world_

 

I sucked maxie’s dick so he wouldn’t destroy the world: guz that’s not the answer to my question

 

_I sucked maxie’s dick so he wouldn’t destroy the world has changed YABOI’s name to I make dick jokes because I can’t get any irl_

_I sucked maxie’s dick so he wouldn’t destroy the world has changed their name to waterboi_

_Waterboi has made themself admin_

 

I make dick jokes because I can’t get any irl: FUCK

I make dick jokes because I can’t get any irl: archie the next time I see you i’m gonna tear you limb from limb

Waterboi: I’d like to see you try you twig

  


_I make dick jokes because I can’t get any irl has left the chat_


End file.
